Single and Successful: Marriage Isn't for Everyone

Advantages of Singleness

Singles can focus on a career, travel, God, a hobby, etc., without needing to meet the time requirements of a dedicated relationship with a spouse.

Singles can eat what and when desired. Arrange your apartment or house as you desire. Sleep when you want. Solely control the television remote control, bathroom, etc.

Being single often permits a single-minded focus that sometimes leads to enormous success for the single person.

As I see it, many (if not most or all) of the successful singles listed below would have accomplished less if they had been married, allotting time to a spouse instead of their other activities.

Examples of Successful Singles

Numerous online articles list successful singles, including ones on the websites of Reader’s Digest,[1] Buzzfeed,[2] This Is Why I’m Single,[3] and Unmarried Equality.[4] The lengthy list of successful singles below is not comprehensive. And while some successful singles have been involved in some type(s) of heterosexual and/or homosexual romantic relationship, many if not most, have never been involved in a serious one. They seem to have chosen (for whatever reasons) to focus on other things, and thus achieved significant success.

Below is a not-comprehensive list of many successful singles with brief information about them.

Louisa May Alcott; author

Hans Christian Andersen; author

Susan B. Anthony; women’s rights advocate

Jane Austen; author

Clara Barton; nurse, founder of American Red Cross

Anne Bronte; author

Emily Bronte; author

James Buchanan; President of the United States

Coco Chanel; fashion designer and perfume creator

Sheryl Crow; singer and songwriter

Leonardo Da Vinci; artist, inventor, multitalented person

Descartes; philosopher, mathematician

Maureen Dowd; columnist and author

George Eastman; inventor of Kodak camera

Queen Elizabeth I; queen of England

Greta Garbo; actress

Jesus; founder of what came to be called Christianity

Joan of Arc; French hero

Franz Kafka; author

Diane Keaton; actress

Edward I. Koch; New York City mayor

Harper Lee; author

Meriwether Lewis; explorer

Janet Napolitano; Arizona governor, Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security

Sir Isaac Newton; physicist and mathematician

Ralph Nader; consumer advocate

Florence Nightingale; nurse, social reformer

Apostle Paul; Christian missionary, Paul is recorded in I Corinthians 7:32-34 as advocating singleness, though some claim he may have been married at some point

Helen Reddy; singer

Janet Reno; U.S. attorney general

Condoleezza Rice; National Security Advisor, Secretary of State

David Souter; U.S. Supreme Court Justice

Mother Teresa; Catholic nun

Nikola Tesla; inventor

Henry David Thoreau; author, philosopher

Ludwig Van Beethoven; composer

Voltaire; author

Oprah Winfrey; talk show host

Orville Wright; inventor, aviation pioneer

Wilbur Wright; inventor, aviation pioneer

Many Successful Married People Might Better Have Never Married

In addition to the large number of prominent singles, a huge number of well-known married persons dedicated so much of their time, talent, and focus to their career achievements that their marriage and family life paled in comparison.

Indeed, they could be considered “failures” at that aspect of life, who perhaps would better have chosen to remain single, never marrying. A 2015 Business Insider article [5] cites “anecdotal evidence” as indicating that those “in the spotlight” are more likely to divorce.

My Choice

Personally, I feel called to remain single. I’m happy, healthy, and feel that I am doing more good as a single person than I would if married. I may not be successful by worldly standards, but I consider myself a successful single.

I seldom take selfie pictures, typically only about once every five years to update photos on websites. But in lieu of a photo of a prominent successful single, below is a June 7, 2020 photo of me, taken when I was 62 years old.

Holidays and Special Occasions

Some singles feel lonely on traditional family get-together holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. But that doesn’t have to be the case.

Singles can focus on what they have to be thankful for and the meaning of Christmas. They can volunteer somewhere. They can get together with other singles. Or they can meet up with extended family such as aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, parents, etc. If they love their career (or a hobby) enough, they may even experience joy by focusing on it even on holidays.

We All Are Single at Times

We’re all born single and we all remain single until we’re married. Also, due to divorce and/or the death of a spouse, the majority of persons are single late in life.

Singleness Isn’t for Everyone

However, lifelong singleness isn’t for everyone. Persons who share common interests and morals with a “soulmate,” may find that teamwork via marriage with that individual is best for them.

Sadly, though, a large percentage of persons become romantically involved with (and then marry) someone with whom they share relatively little in common.

Singleness is better than being married to the wrong person, or even being married to the right person at the wrong time and/or in the wrong way. Please don’t rush into marriage.

But if you’re married, please seek to resolve conflicts with your spouse and salvage your marriage for a lifetime if reasonably possible. Self-help books, marital counseling, sharing problems with a trusted friend, etc., can help.

Closing Thoughts

Singleness is preferable to marriage for many. Embrace and enjoy singleness.

Those who accomplish most for humanity often seem to be those who never marry or who put their careers above their family relationships.

Finally, singles can still maintain family relationships and friendships with others. Singles may even develop and maintain more friendships than married couples, as indicated by studies cited in a 2019 Psychology Today article.[6]

NOTE:

Portions of this article are adapted/reprinted from articles the author published in 2019.

ENDNOTES:

[1] Yuko, Elizabeth; “15 Famous People Who Chose to Stay Single”; Reader’s Digest website; updated December 14, 2021; originally published February 4, 2020; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.rd.com/list/famous-people-who-chose-to-stay-single/

[2] “Quitmeyer, Maitland; “31 Famous Unmarried People Who Prove That Being Single is Badass”; Buzzfeed.com; February 8, 2015; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.buzzfeed.com/maitlandquitmeyer/this-list-of-31-famous-people-who-never-married-will-inspire

[3] “Famous People Who Never Married From History That Prove Single Is Successful”; This Is Why I’m Single; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.thisiswhyimsingle.com/life/famous-people-never-married/?view-all&andro=1&chrome=1&A1c=1

[4] “Famous People Living Solo, Present and Past”; Unmarried Equality; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.unmarried.org/famous-people-living-solo-present-and-past/

[5] Gillett, Rachel; “Marriage under the spotlight—why successful people get divorced”; Business Insider; July 6, 2015; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.businessinsider.com/why-successful-people-get-divorced-2015-7

[6] Kislev, Elyakim, Ph.D.; “The Impact of Friendships on Single and Married People”; Psychology Today; April 7, 2019; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happy-singlehood/201904/the-impact-friendships-single-and-married-people#:~:text=Recent%20studies%20show%20that%20singles,and%20often%20leave%20friendships%20behind.