Single and Successful: Marriage Isn't for Everyone

Advantages of Singleness

Singles can focus on a career, travel, God, a hobby, etc., without needing to meet the time requirements of a dedicated relationship with a spouse.

Singles can eat what and when desired. Arrange your apartment or house as you desire. Sleep when you want. Solely control the television remote control, bathroom, etc.

Being single often permits a single-minded focus that sometimes leads to enormous success for the single person.

As I see it, many (if not most or all) of the successful singles listed below would have accomplished less if they had been married, allotting time to a spouse instead of their other activities.

Examples of Successful Singles

Numerous online articles list successful singles, including ones on the websites of Reader’s Digest,[1] Buzzfeed,[2] This Is Why I’m Single,[3] and Unmarried Equality.[4] The lengthy list of successful singles below is not comprehensive. And while some successful singles have been involved in some type(s) of heterosexual and/or homosexual romantic relationship, many if not most, have never been involved in a serious one. They seem to have chosen (for whatever reasons) to focus on other things, and thus achieved significant success.

Below is a not-comprehensive list of many successful singles with brief information about them.

Louisa May Alcott; author

Hans Christian Andersen; author

Susan B. Anthony; women’s rights advocate

Jane Austen; author

Clara Barton; nurse, founder of American Red Cross

Anne Bronte; author

Emily Bronte; author

James Buchanan; President of the United States

Coco Chanel; fashion designer and perfume creator

Sheryl Crow; singer and songwriter

Leonardo Da Vinci; artist, inventor, multitalented person

Descartes; philosopher, mathematician

Maureen Dowd; columnist and author

George Eastman; inventor of Kodak camera

Queen Elizabeth I; queen of England

Greta Garbo; actress

Jesus; founder of what came to be called Christianity

Joan of Arc; French hero

Franz Kafka; author

Diane Keaton; actress

Edward I. Koch; New York City mayor

Harper Lee; author

Meriwether Lewis; explorer

Janet Napolitano; Arizona governor, Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security

Sir Isaac Newton; physicist and mathematician

Ralph Nader; consumer advocate

Florence Nightingale; nurse, social reformer

Apostle Paul; Christian missionary, Paul is recorded in I Corinthians 7:32-34 as advocating singleness, though some claim he may have been married at some point

Helen Reddy; singer

Janet Reno; U.S. attorney general

Condoleezza Rice; National Security Advisor, Secretary of State

David Souter; U.S. Supreme Court Justice

Mother Teresa; Catholic nun

Nikola Tesla; inventor

Henry David Thoreau; author, philosopher

Ludwig Van Beethoven; composer

Voltaire; author

Oprah Winfrey; talk show host

Orville Wright; inventor, aviation pioneer

Wilbur Wright; inventor, aviation pioneer

Many Successful Married People Might Better Have Never Married

In addition to the large number of prominent singles, a huge number of well-known married persons dedicated so much of their time, talent, and focus to their career achievements that their marriage and family life paled in comparison.

Indeed, they could be considered “failures” at that aspect of life, who perhaps would better have chosen to remain single, never marrying. A 2015 Business Insider article [5] cites “anecdotal evidence” as indicating that those “in the spotlight” are more likely to divorce.

My Choice

Personally, I feel called to remain single. I’m happy, healthy, and feel that I am doing more good as a single person than I would if married. I may not be successful by worldly standards, but I consider myself a successful single.

I seldom take selfie pictures, typically only about once every five years to update photos on websites. But in lieu of a photo of a prominent successful single, below is a June 7, 2020 photo of me, taken when I was 62 years old.

Holidays and Special Occasions

Some singles feel lonely on traditional family get-together holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. But that doesn’t have to be the case.

Singles can focus on what they have to be thankful for and the meaning of Christmas. They can volunteer somewhere. They can get together with other singles. Or they can meet up with extended family such as aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, parents, etc. If they love their career (or a hobby) enough, they may even experience joy by focusing on it even on holidays.

We All Are Single at Times

We’re all born single and we all remain single until we’re married. Also, due to divorce and/or the death of a spouse, the majority of persons are single late in life.

Singleness Isn’t for Everyone

However, lifelong singleness isn’t for everyone. Persons who share common interests and morals with a “soulmate,” may find that teamwork via marriage with that individual is best for them.

Sadly, though, a large percentage of persons become romantically involved with (and then marry) someone with whom they share relatively little in common.

Singleness is better than being married to the wrong person, or even being married to the right person at the wrong time and/or in the wrong way. Please don’t rush into marriage.

But if you’re married, please seek to resolve conflicts with your spouse and salvage your marriage for a lifetime if reasonably possible. Self-help books, marital counseling, sharing problems with a trusted friend, etc., can help.

Closing Thoughts

Singleness is preferable to marriage for many. Embrace and enjoy singleness.

Those who accomplish most for humanity often seem to be those who never marry or who put their careers above their family relationships.

Finally, singles can still maintain family relationships and friendships with others. Singles may even develop and maintain more friendships than married couples, as indicated by studies cited in a 2019 Psychology Today article.[6]

NOTE:

Portions of this article are adapted/reprinted from articles the author published in 2019.

ENDNOTES:

[1] Yuko, Elizabeth; “15 Famous People Who Chose to Stay Single”; Reader’s Digest website; updated December 14, 2021; originally published February 4, 2020; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.rd.com/list/famous-people-who-chose-to-stay-single/

[2] “Quitmeyer, Maitland; “31 Famous Unmarried People Who Prove That Being Single is Badass”; Buzzfeed.com; February 8, 2015; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.buzzfeed.com/maitlandquitmeyer/this-list-of-31-famous-people-who-never-married-will-inspire

[3] “Famous People Who Never Married From History That Prove Single Is Successful”; This Is Why I’m Single; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.thisiswhyimsingle.com/life/famous-people-never-married/?view-all&andro=1&chrome=1&A1c=1

[4] “Famous People Living Solo, Present and Past”; Unmarried Equality; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.unmarried.org/famous-people-living-solo-present-and-past/

[5] Gillett, Rachel; “Marriage under the spotlight—why successful people get divorced”; Business Insider; July 6, 2015; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.businessinsider.com/why-successful-people-get-divorced-2015-7

[6] Kislev, Elyakim, Ph.D.; “The Impact of Friendships on Single and Married People”; Psychology Today; April 7, 2019; webpage accessed August 30, 2022; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happy-singlehood/201904/the-impact-friendships-single-and-married-people#:~:text=Recent%20studies%20show%20that%20singles,and%20often%20leave%20friendships%20behind.

Living in the 20th and 21st Centuries: Enjoy the Blessings

I feel blessed to live in the 20th and 21st centuries. Those of us born before 2001 and still alive enjoy such blessings.

Longing for the “Good Old Days”

A lot of folks complain about things now and long for the “good old days” in our nation’s early years. But do people really want to do without modern inventions like computers, televisions, automobiles, telephones, refrigerators, electric lights, air conditioning, indoor plumbing, etc.?

Some Quality of Life Improvements in the 20th and 21st Centuries

The 20th century saw the invention of television, VCRs, DVD players, microwave ovens, air conditioning, and numerous other modern creations that make life easier and more fun.

Also, although electric power may have been discovered by Benjamin Franklin in the 1700s, and electric power used for such things as lighting in some places in the 1800s, it was not until the 20th century (the 1900s) when electric power use became widespread in businesses and homes. Electric lights, refrigerators, freezers, washing machines, dryers, toasters, and the things listed in the last paragraph became available to the public.

Furthermore, while radio transmission, telephones, and automobiles were invented in the 1800s, only a small percentage of U.S. households had access to them when the 20th century began. Folks in the 1800s had limited options for contacting folks outside their households.

Persons living in households before the 20th century lacked many modern conveniences that I often probably take for granted.

It’s hard for me to imagine living without electric lights, refrigerators, television, radio, microwaves, computers, etc.

Now may be the best time in the history of the world to live, at least since the Garden of Eden if the Bible is to be taken literally. The Bible’s words indicate that Adam and Eve had it nice before their fall, with all their needs met.

However, over the thousands of years of recorded history, the world has experienced many problems. But many problems have been solved since 1900, through human progress under God's leadership, as I see it.

In the last century or so, steps have been taken to better prevent, treat, and cure numerous diseases. Antibiotics, vaccines, and better quality drinking water all help.

Slavery has been eliminated in most of the world. Progress has been made toward equal rights for minority groups, women, etc., in many ways.

Supermarkets today offer a huge variety of food at relatively low prices thanks to modern methods of agricultural production, transportation, and storage.

Below are photos of a few modern inventions. The first photo shows a VCR, DVD player, and television. The second shows a microwave oven.

Communication Advances

Radio and television provided major improvements in mass communication in the 20th century. This was followed by a massive advance in communication after the Internet was invented in the 20th century and expanded enormously in the 21st century.

A vast amount of information and entertainment can be seen (and heard) online from newspapers, television stations, governments, companies, individuals, etc., around the world. Much of it is free, as long as you have access to the Internet. And here in the United States public libraries typically offer Internet service and public computer access free. Many businesses and apartment buildings offer free Wi-Fi too.

Keeping in contact with relatives, friends, etc., has become much easier in recent years thanks to social media websites on the Internet. Lots of such sites exist, but “In the early 2020s, Facebook was the most popular social network in the world with three billion users” according to Britannica.com.[1] That’s a huge number of people.

I’ve personally reconnected with several friends and relatives thanks to Facebook. And the numerous “groups” on Facebook help one to keep up with various topics. Furthermore, Facebook is just one of a vast number of resources online.

Cell phones that can be carried around in one’s backpack, purse, or pocket can store a huge amount of information and offer Internet service as well as the ability to make phone calls, take pictures, use GPS, write notes, etc., etc., etc.

The photo below shows a cell phone, as well as an 8-GB USB computer flash drive that can store an astounding amount of text, pictures, and video. Much larger flash drives are available too.

Cell phones accessing the free Google Translate website [2] can even quickly translate between over 100 languages according to the website. Amazing! How’s that for improving communication?

What About the Past?

Thinking about how things likely were in the past can maybe help us appreciate how blessed we are now.

A few generations ago persons lived without any type of telephone or television or radio or electricity or automobiles or a lot of other things we may take for granted. To converse with a neighbor, I guess they typically had to walk or ride a horse or mule (or wheeled vehicle pulled by such an animal) to where they thought their neighbor was, and hope they were there. Communication with persons out of town was done via letter or postcard mostly I guess.

The majority of persons in the United States lived in rural areas then. In many cases they likely built their own houses, grew most of their own food, got their water from their own well or a nearby spring, used an outhouse for a toilet, washed clothes by hand, and in many cases sewed their own clothes.

Concluding Thoughts

Visitors to the 21st century from a few centuries ago would be astounded by modern technology.

Human beings have flown to the moon, landed, and returned safely home. And airplanes even allow relatively quick travel between many destinations here in Earth.

We are blessed immeasurably to live at this time. I don’t know what advancements will come in the future. But I’m confident that the world is going to get better, not worse. I even optimistically think that we humans, under God’s leadership, will eventually find and implement ways to resolve our differences peacefully and fairly, thus ending war and violent conflict. Indeed, I’m confident that, as William Shakespeare reportedly wrote in the play Twelfth Night centuries ago, “the best is yet to come.”

ENDNOTES:

[1] Ray, Michael; “social network"; Britannica.com; webpage accessed August 23, 2022; https://www.britannica.com/technology/social-network

[2] Google Translate; webpage accessed August 23, 2022; https://translate.google.com/

May Your Food Costs Be Lowered Despite Inflation? Some Tips

You probably don’t need me to tell you that food prices in the United States increased significantly recently.

Indeed, over the last year food prices may have increased the most on an annual basis since 1979.

“The food index increased 10.9 percent over the last year, the largest 12-month increase since the period ending May 1979” according to the July 2022 Consumer Price Index [1], released by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics on August 10th, 2022.

Despite the price increases, you may be able to spend less than you did last year on groceries.

Eat at Home

Despite the increase in grocery costs, preparing food at home is cheaper than eating out at restaurants.

Indeed, preparing an entire day’s food at home could cost less than one typical meal in a restaurant. And if you’re like me, you probably eat three or four times a day at least. But my daily food bill often works out to around $5-8 per day.

The United States Department of Agriculture “Thrifty Food Plan: U.S. Average, July 2022” [2] estimates weekly and monthly food costs for various persons. Its plan is based on a diet that is detailed in its “Thrifty Food Plan, 2021” [3]. As an example, for a male my age, the USDA estimates the weekly cost for food at $60 in July 2022 under the thrifty food plan. That’s a reasonable figure, but I often spend less.

Eat Whole Grains for Breakfast

Whole grains are cheaper (and healthier) than processed, prepared foods.

For breakfast, oatmeal you cook yourself is healthier for you than the processed, microwavable, sweetened types sold in stores. You can add your own fruit to it (bananas, blueberries, raisins, etc.) or nuts (walnuts, etc.).

I enjoy the taste and texture of Quaker five-minute oats. They only take five minutes to prepare after the water comes to a boil.

But you can buy generic brands that may save you even more if they meet your taste and quality standards. Furthermore, you can buy oats that cook in one minute instead of five.

When I’m in a hurry, I often settle for Cheerios with Silk brand enriched soymilk. If you’re not seeking to adhere to a vegan diet, cow’s milk works too.

Cheerios has several nutrients added to it, is lower in sugar than most processed, boxed cereals, and is made from whole-grain oats. Although it’s more expensive per serving than oatmeal, Cheerios is on sale in some local supermarket almost every week, and manufacturer coupons are often available. It will keep for months, so I recommend buying it on sale using a manufacturer coupon.

There are other whole grain cereals you can eat for breakfast such as Cream of Wheat and Bob's Red Mill 10 Grain Cereal, as well as muesli.

But I confess I too often indulge in less healthy options for breakfast. Seek to do as I say, not as I do. And I’m seeking to do better.

Whole Grain Flour and Cornmeal

Whole grain flour is cheaper (and healthier) than the processed, already baked products in stores. I prefer white whole wheat flour, which I think is tastier than the more common red whole wheat variety.

Bake your own biscuits, banana-nut bread, cinnamon-raisin walnut bread, chocolate chip cookies, etc.

Enriched, processed white flour is even cheaper than the whole grain flour, but not as healthy. Although processed white flour is enriched with certain nutrients, it lacks many of the nutrients that occur in whole grain flour.

Also, buy some whole grain cornmeal to prepare your own cornbread or corn muffins. Find the brand you like best that is available in your area. Personally, I buy Weisenberger Mill yellow, bolted cornmeal from Good Foods Market, a local Lexington, Kentucky supermarket.

Beans, Nuts, Seeds, Lentils

Dry beans are cheap to buy, can be stored a long time, and are nutritious. Pinto beans, lima beans, great northern beans, cranberry beans, kidney beans, black beans, red beans, and others are available.

Nuts, seeds, and lentils are other relatively cheap sources of proteins.

I’m not sure which supermarkets operate in your area. In Lexington, Kentucky, where I live, Meijer sells raw sunflower seeds and some tasty peanuts roasted in peanut oil. Aldi sells some tasty raw nut mixtures. Kroger carries a wide variety of dry beans.

If the gas from beans concerns you, consider adding ginger to the beans. I do, and it seems to reduce the gas.

Fruits and Vegetables

I love fresh fruit. Bananas are typically reasonably priced here at only 50-60 cents per pound, which is about 25 cents per average size banana. Buy other fruits on sale. And typically a few varieties are on sale every week.

Buy fresh vegetables on sale too. And keep a supply of frozen and canned ones too.

Fruits and vegetables are relatively cheap per serving, especially bought on sale. For example, last week I bought ears of corn in the husk at Meijer on sale priced at 5 for $2. I bought 12 ounce bags of mixed vegetables at Aldi for 84 cents each today. Frozen broccoli, brussels sprouts, and other frozen vegetables are reasonably priced there too. Meijer has some nice prices on frozen vegetables too, including squash. Kroger also does sometimes.

Fresh carrots are typically reasonably priced, and potatoes are on sale somewhere usually. Tomatoes are usually on sale somewhere too, but I prefer the taste of those from a local farmers’ market when in season.

Coupons and Weekly Sales

Aldi, Kroger, Meijer, Save-a-Lot, and other supermarkets run weekly ads. These sales allow you to buy products at relatively cheap prices.

Kroger also has online coupons you can clip and special prices for persons with Kroger Rewards cards (free cards). Kroger also puts deli items near the sell-by date on a rack. That can offer bargains.

Meijer has online mPerks coupons and sometimes mails coupons to mPerks members (join free).

Other supermarkets in your area likely have special offers of some type, possibly similar to those I just mentioned.

Some stores offer coupons that provide a certain percentage or dollar amount off your total purchase. These help too.

One Store Per Week

It takes time and money to travel from one store to another.

Personally, I don’t own a car, and to save time and reduce bus trips, I typically only shop at one store per week.

I may take a bus to Aldi one week, then Kroger or Meijer the next. Over the course of a month, I may visit each store at least once, and Aldi twice.

I sometimes go to Save-a-Lot, Walmart, etc., but less frequently. I’ve bought a lot of canned greens (collard greens, mustard greens, spinach, and turnip greens) at Save-a-Lot at reasonable prices.

Over the course of time, I can stock up on items from the different stores at reasonable prices.

Cooking in Batches and Reducing Waste

To save time, I often prepare food in big batches, even though I’m single. I typically refrigerate leftovers.

Expired food that is thrown out is a big expense item for many. I seek to eat leftovers before they spoil, and to rotate my canned and frozen foods to help me eat them before their use-by date. If it helps, put the date prepared on a food item or the date a bottle is opened on it. I do these things some, but I’m not perfect at it. I still waste some.

Snacks

Aldi store-brand bagels are reasonably priced ($1.99 for a six pack) and tasty. I often eat those as a snack. On a per serving basis, cookies and many other snacks are relatively cheap. But it’s typically healthier to prepare your own with less added sugar, fat, salt, etc. Popcorn is a cheap, healthy snack when air popped from kernels. I bought an air popper that I can use in my microwave.

Drinks

I usually keep water from my water faucet in my refrigerator. It is my #1 drink. But I also buy 12-ounce frozen concentrated orange juice enriched with calcium, Gatorade, and other drinks.

Gatorade in powder form is much cheaper than as a liquid. Meijer sells a resealable container of Gatorade powder for $8.99 that makes six gallons of Gatorade. That's about 1/4 the cost per serving of buying liquid Gatorade.

I also keep some cases of bottled water on hand for emergencies or travel, but I generally drink refrigerated tap water, and use refrigerated tap water to prepare my orange juice and Gatorade. I rarely drink decaffeinated green tea, but I might do well to drink it a bit more often.

Closing Thoughts

Each individual’s dietary needs and budget are different. I am neither a medical professional nor a dietician and cannot give medical or dietary advice. But I hope you find the information I’ve provided helpful. Enjoy quality, nutritious food in moderation.

DISCLAIMER:

I am a bivocational freelance writer, and my second job is as a part-time store clerk at a retail store. I took no payment from any store or product manufacturer in exchange for writing any part of this article.

NOTES:

[1] “Consumer Price Index Summary: Consumer Price Index--July 2022”; U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics; August 10, 2022; webpage accessed August 22, 2022; https://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm#:~:text=The%20energy%20index%20increased%2032.9,the%20period%20ending%20May%201979.

[2] “Official USDA Thrifty Food Plan: U.S. Average, July 2022”; United States Department of Agriculture; August 2022; webpage accessed August 22, 2022; https://fns-prod.azureedge.us/sites/default/files/media/file/CostofFoodJul2022Thrifty.pdf

[3] “Thrifty Food Plan, 2021”; U.S. Department of Agriculture; August 2021; webpage accessed August 22, 2022; https://fns-prod.azureedge.us/sites/default/files/resource-files/TFP2021.pdf