Seek True Love for Valentine's Day

Today, Tuesday, February 14, 2023, is Valentine’s Day. Seek true love for Valentine’s Day this year.

The historical background of Valentine’s Day is discussed in many online articles, including one on History.com.[1]

Valentine’s Day is a huge commercial success for many here in the United States. Statistica.com[2] estimates that U.S. "Planned Valentine's Day spending" for 2023 will be "approximately 26 billion U.S. dollars." Large sales of chocolates and other candies, as well as fresh flowers occur.

School children enjoy Valentine’s parties with the exchange of valentines, accompanied by eating tasty candies. And I hope the kids brush their teeth later!

I cherish fond memories of exchanging valentines with elementary school classmates. I kept many (if not all) of those childhood valentines. I think they're still stored in a box at my mom's house.

In my apartment, I still have a few valentines I received years ago as an adult; below are photos of three of those: two from my sisters and one from my dad and mom.

Advertisements urge persons to make specific extravagant purchases to show their love for someone. But is that true love? My answer is no.

As I see it, true love is showing genuine care and compassion for others. God sets the perfect example of love for us. If we remember to always put the highest righteous authority, God, first, we will be blessed. Remember that joy and fulfillment come from God, and from within ourselves, not from other people. If one is not joyful single, one probably won’t be joyful married.

Yet, even many persons who claim to be Christians devote much of their time to pursuing romantic love, searching for the right mate—supposedly a godly mate.  I do not believe a person will find a godly mate if one is more devoted to seeking a mate than to seeking God.  Always put God first.  If Christians (and others) did this, much divorce could be prevented.

Dating and Romance

For those interested in romance, instead of rushing into an emotional, romantic relationship, build it slowly.  Develop numerous friendships with people with whom one shares common interests.  Gradually become closer friends with those whom you share many common interests.

Ideally, intellectual and spiritual attraction should precede emotional, romantic attraction.  How can one evaluate someone from an unbiased perspective when one’s emotions are raging out of control?

In fact, if one has the discipline to do so, I think it best to avoid kissing your spouse until after the minister states “you may kiss the bride” at the wedding.  Furthermore, do not rush into marriage without knowing your prospective spouse well.  Spend time together in a variety of settings and activities.  Learn their attitudes regarding money management, careers, having and raising children, spiritual beliefs, morals, etc.

Personally, I consider traditional dating a mistake.  Persons put their best foot forward, spend money on special activities, and focus their time and energy on impressing their date/victim.

For those interested in Christian alternatives to dating, many resources are available in Christian stores, online, and elsewhere.  You may prefer other resources, but I enjoyed reading Joshua Harris’ 1997 book I Kissed Dating Goodbye some years ago.  The views expressed in his book are similar to my own.   The book focused on putting one’s relationship with God first, and detailed an alternative approach to building relationships – instead of dating.  A revised edition has been published since I read the book and is probably still in print.

Remaining Single Can Be a Joyous Option

Remember that joy and fulfillment come from God and from within one’s self, not from other people.  It is unfair to expect others to provide one’s happiness.  I know too many people who were unhappy single and rushed into romantic relationships seeking fulfillment—the relationships usually failed.

If one is not joyful single, one probably won’t do the things necessary to be happily married.  A successful relationship requires the two parties to communicate openly and honestly, as well as to help one another.

The highest calling may be to remain single.  Develop both male and female friendships without succumbing to sexual attraction.  As Galatians 3:28 puts it “. . . neither male nor female:  for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” (KJV)

Personally, I feel called to be single, at least for now.  Maybe you do, too.  Jesus apparently remained single his entire life, and the Apostle Paul apparently was single during the years of his ministry.  It only takes a few minutes to read Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:10-12 and the Apostle Paul’s words in I Corinthians 7 on the blessings of remaining single.  Please read these wise words encouraging persons with the discipline to resist sexual lust to remain single. For good measure, take a few minutes to read the words in I Corinthians 13 on love.

Real Love

Indeed, often it seems young children and senior citizens do a far better job of demonstrating unselfish true love for others than the romantic teenagers and middle-aged couples who often seem to be seeking what they can get out of a relationship, not what they can put into it. Watch how many kids and older adults treat people.

By putting God first this Valentine’s Day (and every day), one can enjoy God’s blessings in all one’s personal relationships!

ENDNOTES:

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[1] “History of Valentine’s Day”; History.com; updated August 29, 2019, originally posted December 22, 2009; webpage accessed February 9, 2020; https://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day/history-of-valentines-day-2

[2] Emma Bedford; “Total expected Valentine’s Day spending in the United States from 2009-2020”; Statistica.com; January 31, 2020; webpage accessed February 9, 2020;https://www.statista.com/statistics/285028/us-valentine-s-day-sales/

webpage was accessed again on February 14, 2023, when the title was "Total expected Valentine's Day spending in the United States from 2009-2023," authored by D. Tighe, and published January 26, 2023;

NOTE:

This article being submitted to Google Blogger on February 10, 2020 is virtually identical to one the author submitted to Craft News Report, a website operated by his friend Paul Craft, on February 9, 2020. That article was adapted and updated from articles the author originally wrote for other websites in 2007.

This article was last revised on February 14, 2023.