The
Christmas season (and Thanksgiving) often focus attention on family activities.
Persons who remain single may sometimes feel out of place. However, singles can
still enjoy getting together with friends and relatives—as well as fun time
alone.
Enjoy
singleness. All humans are single during childhood. Furthermore, even those who
marry often become single again due to divorce or the death of a spouse. A
study discussed in an article
on PsychologyToday.com[1]
indicated that those who remained single throughout their lives coped better
during their later years than those who were widowed or divorced.
I
agree. Some divorced or widowed persons seem to never really recover from the
loss of their spouse. Perhaps their life often was excessively wrapped up in that
other person. I don’t know.
Personally,
I have been single all my life and feel that I am blessed immeasurably. The New
Testament cites both Jesus (Matthew 19:10-12) and Paul (I Corinthians 7) as
stating it is better to remain single if one has the discipline to do so.
For
some Christians, it may be the right decision to remain single throughout life.
Famous Persons Who Remained Single
The
Bible records no spouse for Jesus. Can you even imagine Jesus married to a
human being? The Apostle Paul apparently was single during his ministry.
Many
famous and successful people remained single. Consumer advocate Ralph Nader,
who has accomplished much for many causes, likely could not have accomplished
all he has if he had a spouse. Wilbur and Orville Wright might not have
successfully flown an airplane if they’d been devoted to a spouse.
Other
famous lifelong single persons include Leonardo da Vinci, Queen Elizabeth I,
Sir Isaac Newton, Florence Nightingale, George Eastman, Henry David Thoreau,
Meriwether Lewis, and Mother Teresa.
Singleness Permits Focus
Singleness
offers an opportunity to dedicate and devote oneself fully to a particular calling
or purpose, as indicated by Paul’s words in I Corinthians 7:32-34 (KJV):
“32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is
unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the
Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of
the world, how he may please his wife.
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The
unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in
body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world,
how she may please her husband.”
A
single person typically doesn't need to budget as much time for family
commitments. Also, a single person doesn't need to consider his or her spouse
when contemplating career changes, moves to other locations, or when and where
to eat meals.
If Married
However,
if a Christian is already married, it is generally best to remain married
unless one's spouse commits adultery or the spouse seeks a divorce. Even when a
spouse commits adultery or seeks a divorce, sometimes the marriage can be
saved.
If
a couple experiences major problems in its marriage, prayer, marital
counseling, a temporary separation, etc., can often help save the marriage.
Also, seeking to resolve minor problems before they escalate into big ones is a
key.
If Single
If
persons are single when they become Christians, it may be better to remain
single and celibate if they have the discipline to do so.
Typically,
I think a single person who does not have responsibilities to a spouse or to
children can devote more time to serving God and others. Still, choosing
singleness is a personal choice.
For
persons deciding to remain single, it is important to develop and maintain a
network of friends to fellowship with at least occasionally and to help one
another when necessary. Also, remember that singles living alone take total responsibility
for their household cleaning, cooking, dishwashing, shopping, laundry, etc.
But
often singles (including me) live in relatively small apartments rather than
large houses, which reduces cleaning duties. Cooking big batches of beans and
vegetable soup then refrigerating or freezing leftovers for later saves cooking
and dishwashing time, too. And it is easier to shop and do laundry for oneself
than for an entire family.
Personally,
I think it may be God's calling for me to remain single throughout my life.
Furthermore, some of my closest friends remain single.
I
enjoy being single. I like being able to cook my own food the way I want it
(especially nice since I try to adhere to a vegan diet). In addition, I can
make my own decisions about my time and my activities.
Closing Thoughts
Of
course, Christians may choose to get married. But I urge Christians to
prayerfully consider the impact before getting married. Try to ensure that your
relationship with that spouse-to-be will draw you both closer to God's will for
your lives if you become a married couple than would be the case if you
remained single and celibate.
By
seeking God's perfect will, I am confident we will all be happier. For some
(including me) that may include remaining single for one's entire life.
ENDNOTES:
[1] Bella DePaulo;
“How Life Turns Out for Lifelong Singles”; PsychologyToday.com; April 7, 2019;
webpage accessed December 1, 2019; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201904/how-life-turns-out-lifelong-singles
[2] Bible, King James
Version, I Corinthians 7; BibleGateway.com; webpage accessed December 1, 2019; https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+7&version=KJV
NOTE:
This
article being submitted to Google Blogger on December 2, 2019 is virtually
identical to one the author submitted to Craft News Report, a website operated
by his friend Paul Craft, on December 1, 2019. That article was adapted from a
chapter in a book the author wrote, a chapter which was adapted from an earlier
article the author wrote.
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